Greetings all. I’m sure everyone has been noticing I’ve been putting up more and more videos lately as opposed to my usual entries. Well, part of the reason for this was to get more traffic to come to my Vlog on YouTube. But there is another reason.
Those of you who watched the video on my last entry: https://akrummenacker.wordpress.com/2012/09/27/another-entry-about-character-creating/will already know what I’m about to say. I have a chronic pain condition. The doctor who diagnosed me gave me a sad smile as he said, “The good news is that it won’t kill you. But you’ll be in pain the rest of your life.” The condition is known as Fibromyalgia and based on my own research over the years and from speaking with experts, I’ve had this since childhood. I’ve always suffered pain more readily and easier than my peers back in grade school. No one ever believed me when I told them how much I hurt especially after one of the numerous bully assaults because of my apparent weakness and vulnerability. I was never good at sports even when I tried my damnedest to get good. My muscles never responded correctly. I was clumsy and awkward and on rare days when I was feeling ‘good’ I was able to excel in ways no one could believe. But then a day or so later I’d be back to my usual lower performing standards no matter how HARD I tried to push myself. I was tired a lot as well, which comes with being in pain.
Now let me point out that the pain levels I normally experience are the kind of low (somethings off but it’s not going to get in my way) kind of thing. They can take their toll but I’ve found exercise routines that really work for me without exacerbating the pain. I’ve taken a lot of dance and have learned a lot of core and endurance building exercises that have helped a lot. But even these are no match for when the Fibromyalgia comes out of its remission stage and goes into “FLARE”.
During “Flare” the pain levels shoot up and my motor skills become clumsy and awkward. I feel terribly drained and even have to resort to using a walking stick to get around (even inside my home). Even putting my thoughts together can be difficult, as if I were trapped in a fog which is why this particular symptom is referred to as FIBROFOG. Overall, it’s like having a terrible case of the flu with the deep body aches and fatigue, without the high temp or other symptoms.
Now, what does all this have to do with the videos? Simple. I have limited energy reserves during these periods. And what little I feel up to doing is getting through my college classes and my daily life period. I budget my reserves and try to focus on writing my novels as best I can (the Fibrofog can mess me up on that front something fierce and I can’t really write some days even though I want to). During periods like the one I’m going through now, it’s easier to sit and talk rather than type. And since I don’t want to neglect all of you who’ve been so kind and generous with your comments and views, I’ve been resorting to the videos.
So, now you know what’s really been going on. I hope you all understand and I hope this particular ‘Flare’ will soon pass. Until it does please bear with me. I will still be posting in one form or the other.
In the meantime I’m going to take advantage of my being a writer to bring up another subject. In my earlier entries I talked about giving your characters skills, hobbies, talents you have or someone you know has to help make them more real to your readers. The same still holds true with bad stuff. Losing a loved one, a bad childhood, an unhappy relationship, or having a health condition.
Now I’ve already started using my personal knowledge of dealing with Fibromyalgia with one of the characters in my novels. Her name is Cassandra Elliott, a billionaire heiress with a heart of gold. With looks, beauty and money, she would seem to have it all. But Epstein-Barr plagues her, depriving her of love of dance and other activities by making her bed-ridden for days or weeks at a time. She hates the feeling of helplessness and being an invalid at times. But how she deals with her condition helps shape the person she’s become and her drive to be as normal as possible especially around her new love interest.
We’re all shaped by our experiences. Good or bad, how we react to them helps make us the people we are. So look into your own life sometimes for sources of material to help shape and make your characters into real people. People your readers can relate to and want to keep reading about and cheer on.
Thanks for reading, sorry this post is so long, but I felt it necessary to address some of the concerns I’ve been reading in the comment sections or in private messages. Take care everyone and I hope to have another entry up shortly.
Allan,
Thanks for posting this. I think all of us will have a better understanding of what is going on with the videos. And I don’t think this was long at all, just right to explain what you needed to explain.
I also agree that characters need to be like real people with the good or bad things all of us face. I’m sure there isn’t one person here who hasn’t had some kind of issue to deal with, whether it be with them, a friend, or family member, co-worker, etc.
Sunni
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Thank you Sunni. I wasn’t sure about posting this in the first place but I feel better that I did it. I’m usually pretty private about such matters, but since it was affecting my viewers/readers I thought it only fair to explain myself. Thanks for your support. Take care.
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Oh! Sorry to hear that,may you overcome the pain. Good days waiting!
This was a touchy post, didn’t feel that it was long, but you shared your personal matter with your readers, and all their prayers will be with you. As u said, all our experiences help us to become the people we are. Don’t let the pain define you, take care. Prayers!
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Thank you Mridula, I promise not to let the pain define me. Take care.
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Allan,
I know of what you speak. My aunt has been dealing with fibro since they didn’t really know what to call it. It’s good to have a diagnosis, but frustrating to know there’s not much one can take that doesn’t have terrible side effects. It’s up to each individual to determine what alternatives work best, and it certainly is different from one person to another. I wish you many more pain-free days than pain-filled ones.
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Thank you Deena, especially for pointing out that since Fibromyalgia is so complicated that each patient has to find what works for them. That is probably the single most annoying thing, besides the pain and brain-fog, about the condition. My sympathies to your Aunt and I hope she’s found ways to alleviate some of her discomfort. Thanks again and take care.
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There was no reason to explain, but I’m glad you did. I wish you the best.
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Thanks Joe.
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I know how you feel Allan, I’ve had Fibromyalgia since 1991. The biggest problem I have with it, besides the pain, is the sleep disorder part. My sleep shifts are horrible to say the least, but I have learned to live with it. Some days are bad, some are good, but you muttle through the best you can. I don’t have problems with typing though, but here lately I have with my eye sight. My eyes get squinty and I can’t see as well. I also have Graves disease which usually thyroid problems go hand in hand with fibromyalgia, but I won’t let it stop me, I have to write and love to write!
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I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through Lisa. But I’m so proud of you for keeping up the writing. Don’t stop ever. And thanks.
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I am sorry that you have this condition. I have been diagnosed with it as well but I don’t have the extreme flairs that others have. I understand your “fibrofog” because I have “brainfog” from chemicals and my mold exposure. I, too, have days when I just can’t put two and two together to get four. The environmental illness keeps me from doing a lot of things I once did.
Thank you for sharing with us. I think it is important to get word out about all these “invisible” illnesses that people are plagued with.
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Thanks for referring to them as “Invisible Illnesses” that’s a phrase I haven’t heard in a long time, but it’s quite true. People assume everyone who looks all right is perfectly healthy while we’re actually suffering and sometimes struggling to get through the day. My sympathies for your conditions with the mold and chemical issues. Take care of yourself as best you can and keep writing. I like the info you supply on your blog, it’s very helpful. Take care.
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I’m sorry to hear that Allan. I’m glad you posted this to make me understand a little better. I do have a friend who got that same diagnosis a couple of years ago. She’s doing okay… but not better than “okay”…
Some people don’t understand something like this… I know a few of them… if you’re not bleeding or have a T-Shirt with your illness printed across it – you’re just not having it… and it pisses me off.
I do have something that can’t be seen.
Right now I’m fine… but the thought of it returning again leaves me scared…
I therefore understand pretty well.
Take care!!
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Thank you Raani. It’s really appreciated. The ‘Invisible Illness” is a real problem and I hope eventually we can get people to understand and recognize that ignorant assumptions can be so harmful. As for your own condition, I pray it will stay away and never return. HUGS my friend.
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Allan, Thank you for your post. I fully understand your dilema, as both, my sister, and sister-in-law, suffer from this most debilitating malady. Just as you , neither one has slowed down. They don’t dwell on this condition, but rather make the most of it by remaining quite active. I will also pray that this condition will go away, and never return. Blessings my friend. Hope you don’t mind if I call you my friend. Blessings.
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